Source: Toronto18.com - 2-jun-08

My name is Nada Amara, and I am the wife of Zakariya Amara, one of the so-called accused of the "Toronto 18". I am currently a student at the University of Toronto, doing a double major in Biology and Chemistry. It has been almost two years since my husband's arrest, which have also been two of the most difficult years of my life. Although it has been a trying experience, I want my fellow Canadians to know what I have gone through. I wish to highlight the injustices that have transpired, right before our very eyes, within the very borders of our nation.

On Thursday, June 1st, 2006, the night before the arrest took place, it was a very typical day for my family. I came home from school, fed my daughter, then just an infant, and put her to sleep around 11 pm. At this time I was headed to bed myself. My husband had told me that he felt like praying all night and might not come to bed until much later, and thus asked me not to wait up for him. So I went to bed. But then suddenly I heard a noise; it sounded like the theme song to 'Lord of the Rings'. I got out of bed to survey the situation, and there I saw Zakaria sitting on the couch in his PJ's playing 'Lord of the Rings' on his XBOX. I screamed, "Zak! I thought you were gonna pray!" Caught red-handed, he responded "I know I know, but just let me finish this level". I sat down beside and he convinced me to join him. We played all night, a myriad of games, on and on. I remember laughing and playfully punching him every time he beat me at a game. I would never have imagined that this would be our last night together. They were our last few moments, memories and hours together, until the fateful day that has since then transformed the lives we once knew. Since then, it has been 22 months of a living nightmare. My husband and I have been separated: myself on my own, raising my daughter by myself, and he living in complete solitary confinement.

The Raid:

On Friday, the very next evening, at approximately 6:00PM, Zakaria and I were in the basement playing with my daughter when we heard a loud bang, and disturbances from upstairs. All of a sudden, a swarm of men came charging down the stairs. These men wore gas masks on their faces; some with riot gear, wearing thick bullet proof vests with huge black guns pointing in our direction. As they were entering our basement, they were screaming from the top of their lungs: "GET DOWN GET DOWN GET DOWN!" My younger sister, who was present, and husband laid down on the floor, but I couldn't since I was holding my 8 month old daughter.  I still remember my baby's terrified face, she was screaming and crying, I just held her tightly and tried my best to calm her down. But as much as I tried, I could not hide the fact that I was also terrified. I started to cry and shake uncontrollably. Each member of my family had a masked man standing over us and pointing a gun to our heads.

My husband turned his head towards me while lying on the floor and said "Nada, sweetie, don't' worry, everything will be okay". I could see that he was really worried about me as he had never before seen me so frightened. The man standing over him, who still had his gun pointed at him, told him to "SHUT THE HELL UP!". My husband then asked him to tell me everything is going to be okay. He really wanted me to calm down and feel better. But then man kept repeating "shut the hell up" After few minutes, I was told to lie down. I told them I could not as I was I'm holding my daughter. He then took my baby from my arms. You can only imagine the scene that was before us: one of the masked men, all of who were invoking in my daughter intense fear and emotional distress, grabbed her from her mother, only to make her cry even more. While one man held my daughter, another man came and told me to lie down, as he handcuffed me from the back. He then handcuffed my 14 year old sister. My sister, who is now 16, is still traumatized over that incident. My whole family is still traumatized. The men marched us up the stairs. As soon as we reached the top floor, I saw more than a dozen men walking around my house with guns. There was shattered glass all over the hallway. The front door had been smashed. The damage was such that it looked like we had been robbed.

At this point, I noticed that my husband was no longer present with us. I asked where he was and they told me to go to the garage. I went into the garage, and I saw my whole family there. Everyone was there, except for Zakaria. They told us to stay there. My mom and little sister, who was 12 at that time, were crying. I noticed that my younger brother, who was 17, was still handcuffed. He seemed in a lot of pain. He begged the officers to loosen his handcuff as they were on too tight. And they told him to keep his mouth shut. And as the discomfort increased, he kept pleading with them "Sir please, I'm not saying to open them, just to loosen them a little bit, they hurt a lot". The men kept on telling him to shut up. And just before we were told to leave the house, they eventually took off his handcuffed. And his hands were completely swollen and blue. There was no blood circulation. This is how young adolescents were treated, one who had committed no crime, nor was accused. Now imagine how the accused were treated

After they removed our handcuffs, they told us to leave our house and find somewhere else to stay. " Where would we go?" As we went outside, we saw more than dozens of men and women going in and out. Some of them were SWAT members, others had white suits on, some wore plain clothes, some were police officers, and others were cameramen and reporters. The whole situation looked and felt like a scene out of a movie, because it didn't look like our house anymore. The whole neighbourhood was standing and watching, probably as confused as we were. We just got into our van and left for my mother in law's house. We had been kicked out of our house, and embarrassed in front of our neighbours…it wasn't just the house that those men had stormed through and broken, but it felt like our entire lives shattered that day.

Soon after, we saw on the news that it wasn't just my husband, there were 17 other men and boys who had been arrested. One of them was my younger sister's husband and they were newly-weds who had just gotten married a month ago and were about to go for their honeymoon. We felt like our whole family and community were gone. I remember just wanting to go to sleep and wake up and realize this was just a nightmare. I remember lying awake that night, and realizing that my husband wasn't here and didn't know when he would be back with me. Just 24 hours before, I was playing video games with him, with not a worry in mind. I didn't realise this was just the beginning…

The next weeks were in some sense worse than the raid itself. Every time we would go to court we would get attacked by the media. Dozens of cameramen would circle around us. And since I was one of the few members who wore the full veil, I would receive the vast majority of the media's attention. For months, nobody would talk to or associate with us; and those who spoke up did so to ridicule us. Even more hurtful than this was the very fact that all across Canada, a country that once represented religious and cultural freedoms, our faith was being questioned. Our neighbours would taunt us and one woman looked at me and said, 'effing terrorist, rip off the dirty cloth off your face'.

We were portrayed as aliens that had just been discovered living among the normal people. No one was willing to hear our side of the story – and conveniently a there was a publication ban put on the case, so no one could hear the evidence either– or lack of evidence being presented. The accused men were presented as guilty even before they were given a trial. Not only that, because of the overwhelming negative media attention, the families were also depicted as dangerous beings.

This is just a glimpse of what has happened to me since that fateful day, and what my family and I continue to endure. Seven of the Toronto 18 had their charges stayed. What are the implications of this? I guess the government made a mistake. A mistake that implicated these men, had them locked up and put in solitary confinement, physical and verbal abuse notwithstanding, portrayed them as terrorists and potentially ruined their lives. And all of this happened not in a country far, far away country, but right here in Canada.

I am not asking you to fight for me or my husband, or the other accused, nor am I asking you to stand up for my rights. I am asking you all to become educated about the case as best you can. My husband, like any other Canadian accused of a crime, deserves a fair and speedy trial. And most important of all, he deserves the presumption of innocence. My husband continues to remain in solitary confinement at Don jail in Toronto. He is suppose to be treated as innocent until proven guilty. It is this concept that has made Canada truly remarkable and free, as compared to many other countries where this basic right and freedom is denied. I would never have imagined that such events could take place in a democratic nation, let alone Canada.

I am asking the Canadian public to open their eyes, for if we fail to do so, it will not be long until all Canadians lose what we hold so dear: our basic human rights.

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